Memphis Muslim Chronicles 2036-Booze

In early 2036 the Memphis Sharia Council decided to outlaw the consumption of alcoholic beverages. Immediately a problem arose.  Muslims owned 90% of the convenience stores in Memphis.  For decades the Islamic convenience stores had been selling beer to Memphians.  The Sharia Council voted to compensate their beer inventory with the proviso that no future beer sales would be allowed.  The few non-Muslim store owners were out of luck.  Their beer stocks were simply destroyed, with not a penny paid in compensation.

Up until Muslims took over most major cities in 2034 the selling of alcohol, even illegal drugs, was considered to be a form of jihad against the unbelievers. Whatever hurt the infidel was considered appropriate behavior for Muslims.  But the Jihad had been successful.  Most infidels had either converted to Islam or were paying the jizya tax and were considered dhimmis.

Also, Sharia law had trumped the U.S. Constitution.  And thus the Bill of Rights no longer protected the God given rights of American citizens.  The Fourth Amendment that protected Americans against unreasonable searches and seizures was tossed on the garbage heap by Sharia.

On one summer morning thousands of Memphis Sharia police officers launched numerous liquor raids on private homes in the city.  If they found an open beer can in your garbage, you were hauled before a Sharia Court.  The open can or the empty whiskey bottle was considered prima facie evidence of drinking alcohol.  It was an automatic conviction.  If three Imams believed you had been drinking you were punished.  The Imams took the punishment from The Reliance of the Traveller: A Classic Manual of Islamic Sacred Law. Section 0.16-3 dictated a punishment of forty lashes. On the first liquor raid 1,117 Memphians were rounded up.  On one day all of them were tied to hastily erected whipping posts and lashed.  Four elderly Memphians did not live through the lashing. They died of shock or heart attacks. Their lifeless bodies were carried to the Memphis Zoo.  Once at the zoo their bodies were quartered and fed to the lions, tigers, and leopards.

The Sharia Police went home that night exhausted by their grisly work of whipping people.  The Sharia Council was so concerned that they hired an extra 500 Sharia policemen.

However, if the Sharia Police went into your home and found unopened beer cans or hard liquor bottles mercy was extended to the infidels.  They were forced to sign papers stating they would never again posses alcohol in any form.  Noting that if they drank there would be a summary punishment of 40 lashes.  All unopened bottles and cans were confiscated along with gold and silver items that could be quickly turned to cash.  The fine for possession of alcohol was $2,000.  This money was used to defray the cost of the newly hired 500 Sharia Police.

When news of the liquor raids spread through Memphis neighborhoods most people either threw away their booze or buried it in some hidden place.  The pitiable people were the city’s alcoholics.  Muslims cut them no slack.  The Muslims’ idea of an alcoholic treatment plan was forty lashes across the bare back on a weekly basis.

One Sunday morning immediately after taking communion at the Annunciation Greek Orthodox Church a horrific event happened.  For centuries the Greek Orthodox Church had used wine in their communion service.  That Sunday there was a visitor sitting on the back pew.  He was a tall handsome young man.   He was blonde with blue eyes.  He was also a Muslim convert.  He counted 208 persons who went forward to receive Communion.  Taking his cell phone out of his suit pocket he discreetly text messaged a code word.  Within two minutes over 40 heavily armed Sharia police officers  appeared at all exits of the church.  Father Nickolas Demetrios was accused of serving 208 persons wine.  He was stripped of his priestly vestments.  The Sharia Police captain read a short statement.  Father Nick (as his parishioners affectionately called him) was tied to the altar in his church.  He was to be given 40 lashes for each of the 208 persons who received Communion for a total of 8,320 lashes.  Four Sharia police officers began lashing him.  Suddenly six lay men rushed the altar in a vain attempt to free Father Nick. All six men received numerous rounds in their chests by AK-47 wielding police.  As the bullets passed through their bodies numerous parishioners were wounded.  Father Nick expired after 1,800 lashes. All the flesh was stripped off of his back.  The white bones of his shoulder blades, ribs and spine were exposed.  Huge amounts of blood dripped from the altar onto the church floor.

But there was one last indignity to be visited upon Father Nick.  His lifeless body was decapitated.  His headless corpse was hung on the chancel cross.  The congregation was forbidden to take his corpse down from the cross upon pain of death.

Only then was the congregation allowed to leave the church.  Meanwhile, the Sharia Police had organized a game of impromptu soccer in the church yard.  Instead of a ball Father Nick’s severed head was being used.

In hoc signo,


When Islam conquers, everything changes for the worse.







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