Anyone who knows anything about the American South understands the strong affinity we Southerners have for pork in its many forms. Here is a partial list of pork recipes with Southern geographic references:
Smithfield Virginia Ham Spread Louisiana Red Beans, Rice and Pork
Birmingham Pork Balls Savannah Red Rice
Charleston Hobotee Tennessee Sausage Spoon Bread
Kentucky Shellouts with Ham Hocks Alabama Biscuit Muffins with Sausage
Georgia Okra, Tomato and Bacon Mull Low country Chicken and Ham Perloo
Old Dominion Country Ham Orlando Stuffed Pork Belly
Alabama Hog Pot Louisiana Pickled Pork
Cajun Pigs Tail with Ham Georgia Style Barbecued Pork Chops
Louisiana Braised Country Style Ribs Arkansas Black Barbecued Back Ribs
Memphis Style Barbecued Ribs South Carolina Mustard Barbecue
North Carolina Pulled Barbecue Lexington, North Carolina Chopped Barbecue
Mississippi Bacon Spaghetti Tennessee Fried Streak of Lean
Kentucky Scramble Creamed Virginia Ham and Wild Mushrooms
New Orleans Ham and Artichoke Alexandria Maryland Stuffed Ham
Virginia Pork Tenderloin Florida Mango and Prune Stuffed Ham
Tarpon Springs Greek Burgers Virginia Ham and Olive Loaf
Natchitoches Pork Pies Texarkana Pork and Bean Pie
Georgia Breakfast Pie Creole Pork Steaks
Mississippi Smothered Pork Cutlets
Peanut Butter Sandwich with Naners and Bacon (Elvis’ favorite)
The list of scrumptious pork delicacies could go on and on ad infinitum. But we Southerners love our pig meat served up in numerous mouth-watering ways.
But being the polite people we are we must be sensitive to our Muslims neighbors. Simply putting terrorists on the welfare rolls is not enough. After all we have a Politically Correct duty to finance our own self-destruction. But to add injury to insult we force our Islamic neighbors to inhale air laden with pork smoke.
Now what is pork smoke ? It is thousands of microscopic particles of pork suspended in a gaseous state. As our Muslim “friends” drive down our streets we intolerant Southerners are forcing them to inhale pork ! Pork smoke enters their nostrils and mouths, goes down their throats and finally settles in the lungs. Can you get cancer by inhaling barbecue smoke ? Untold generations of people living in the South have never contracted cancer through smoke. However, the ingestion of pork fat is known to clog the arteries of infidels.
I maintain that the mere act of even breathing pork smoke accidentally can send you straight to Islamic Hell where wild Razorbacks will endlessly rip out your guts . Allah is all merciful. Mohammed is understanding. Is there a Hadith ruling on this subject ? Surely some 9th Century Imam has expressed an opinion on this subject.
Be on the safe side all you Allah fearing Muslims. Leave the land of the pig. Move out of the South. We Southerners will give up our guns before we give up barbecue (the pork variety, that is). And we don’t easily give up our guns.