Another great article from Laetus Porcus – Burkasrugly
On April 29, 2009 the Egyptian government got very excited about the Swine Flu and its potential reign of havoc upon the population. Egyptian Islamic clerics declared a fatwa (religious ruling) against all the pigs in Egypt. Prior to this time the Coptic Christians were allowed to keep pigs for their own personal consumption. About 300,000 pigs were owned by the Coptic Christians. Hosni Mubarack, then President of Egypt, bowed to Islamic pressure and all the pigs were slaughtered by religious decree. No compensation was offered to the Coptic pig farmers.
Egypt became overnight a pig-free zone. But one crafty pig escaped the massacre. His name was Porky Pig. Porky, that international pig of mystery and intrigue, escaped the clutches of the insane Imams. Porky, traveling incognito made it to Europe where pigs are appreciated. From this safe base Porky organized resistance to take back the Islamic world. Last time we checked Porky had been in touch with the legendary legion of Arkansas Razorbacks. Real fighting hogs with six-inch tusks that can quickly emasculate a militant terrorist that is running for his dear life. Even hardened Islamic jihadists quiver at the sight of an enraged Razorback Hog. Several have even soiled themselves at the mere sight of one of these beasts.
Pigs have a keen sense of smell – even better than dogs (another unclean animal). It is rumored that certain militaries are training bomb sniffing pigs to be used by security details. There is even an ultra secret special forces unit that is training attack pigs. The pigs working in units of four to six, known as a pigpack, will kill and devour Muslims. Chunks of deceased Muslims will move from the pigs stomach down through the alimentary canal to eventually become a deposit upon the ground. In effect, the Muslim will require an asbestos suit for the afterlife. If you are working near one of these super secret projects, be careful where you step. If you do step into a pile, quickly wipe the former Muslim off the sole of your shoe. Remember in the Mid-East it is a heinous insult to let a former Muslim cling to the bottom of your shoe for an extended period of time.
Just like Mark Twain, the rumors of Porky Pig’s death have been greatly exaggerated.
PORKY THE PIG LIVES!
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